Anxiety

This was written around March of 2009..

I have done everything,
All that could help me.
But, it is still there.
My heart wants to flee.

There seems to be no escape,
Claustrophobia takes over.
I can hardly breathe,
As if my body smothers.

I read, write and sing.
I dream, walk and run.
I shout, cry and whimper.
But it still burns like the sun.

I huddle in a corner,
Not knowing what to do.
I can't reveal my feelings.
I can't say, "I missed you."

If I say these words to him,
All will crumble between us.
My mask of not noticing.
It shouldn't be lifted, thus.

Maybe that isn't it.
Maybe it is school.
In my mind, I see this:
Homework, deep as a four foot pool.

And yet, not much homework.
I shouldn't be stressed.
But another thought comes,
The same recurring guess.

This guess is about something.
I guess I should continue.
Or maybe change it up a bit.
I shake at the future view.

Anxiety, which is misplaced.
It goes away at certain times,
It is a mystery to me.
I can't clear it, even with a rhyme.

Yes, I am feeling anxiety.
For what? May never know.
It won't leave sometimes.
I wish it will just go!

This is the fire,
Creating a mental pain.
I am doing everything.
Just to stay sane.