Stay Strong

Written on 3/14/11

Sitting in a large room,

I look about, with a little smile.

I'm safe and my friends are here.

That only lasts for a short while..

With just a little uttered word,

My world turns upside down.

A sudden volley of memories,

Surrounds me and I drown.

Ah, don't you just love it,

when blocked memories appear?

Recently, they've been popping up,

Some things suddenly get more clear.

I gasp out short breaths,

My hands clench into fists.

I blink several times

Everything seems to go amiss.

I sit as still as I can be,

I do not, will not cry.

No, not here, not now.

Gotta stay strong, gotta try.

Who cares about the memories?

It's all in the past, am I right?

Everybody deserves another chance.

Shouldn't the future be bright?

I must stay strong,

I should stay strong.

I need to stay strong.

I have to stay strong.

Don't cry, never cry.

Don't do it, no.

Not here, not now.

That's all I know.

I keep telling myself,

That I should stay strong.

When it comes to these things,

Usually I'm not wrong.

Just hang in there,

Forget about it,

Think happy thoughts.

Calm down, just sit.

Need to forgive others.

The past is the past,

Everything's better now.

Bad things never last.

I'm not alone, never alone.

I have plenty of friends,

I've got family too.

They're nearby to the very end.

Not only do I have these things,

Jesus Christ’s also on my side.

So long as I have faith in Him,

I can swim against any tide.

Slowly, things start to improve.

I can breathe again, I can breathe.

Things aren't as bad as they seem.

Nothing's going to make me seethe.

Here I am once more, in the room

I am safe. nothing will harm me.

My emotions are in check again.

It's just all in my head, you see.

The Swarm

Inspired by a dream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You see, I was sitting at my desk.
Then I heard a tap, tap, tap
on the window, I looked and saw,
A large black bird looking right at me.

This room I was in, it was a mix of rooms.
My room, with the bed and main desk.
A classroom, with the tables.
That's how it turned out to be.

I sunk in my seat, hoping the bird would go.
But no, it found its way inside the place.
It screeched, squawked, and cackled.
Waddled between people's legs.

Soon there were more.
More birds, black birds.
I was frightened.
We're surrounded.

A voice soon spoke to me
and I jumped to my feet.
I ran to the windows
and swung them open.

I shouted, "Go! Go! Go!
Be free! Please! Go already!"
Little by little, they left.
Those black, black birds.

The voice was right,
the birds left.
One by one, they flew.
We were safe.

A man appeared with a net
He also had several crates.
I worried about the birds.
There were still a few left.

The man caught two.
He asked about the others,
With a devious grin, he claimed,
"There's twenty more, you see."

I felt something nudge my knee.
I was at my desk and found a bird.
I told the man, I knew no more.
I knew not what he spoke of.

I hid the bird.
We waited and
waited. Then he left.
I held the bird.

With the black bird, I ran.
I ran outside to search,
to search for its friends.
Several were flying up high.

I found others, trapped by the man.
They seemed so helpless to me.
I felt despair, released my bird,
and ran to the trapped birds.

I kicked, gnawed, and fumbled
with the lock.
Useless efforts and wasted time.
Those poor birds.

The black birds stared at me.
With those big, doleful eyes.
I was deeply saddened.
It was all my fault.

I shouldn't have called the man.
They just got lost, is all.
I should have released them,
a whole lot sooner than planned.

Soon, I found myself in a cage.
Equally trapped, within my own mind.
I yelled and screamed and shook
the chain linked fence that kept me in.

After a long while, I felt tired.
I closed my eyes and woke up
to the smell of eggs wafting
right towards my direction.

Secret Goldfish

I haven't posted anything in awhile so here's an old short story I had to write for one of my English classes back in high school. This was originally written on 4/27/08.

=======================================

“Come on, Adam! We have to get home before four or mom will go mad,” a girl said.

“I’m coming, I’m coming. I just wanted to look at something..”

           

“You’re pathetic, man. You know that we can’t have pets, so just forget it,” a boy slightly younger than the girl said.

            

The boy and girl were my sister and brother. My sister’s name was Marisa; she’s pretty bossy sometimes. She’s eleven years old and was going to be twelve in three months. My brother’s name is Dylan; he’s mean to me sometimes but my mom said that’s what older brothers did. I thought my mom was wrong, because my friend, Sam, had an older brother who was really cool and always bought me and Sam a shake whenever we went down to the Ice Cream Bar. Anyway, my brother was nine years old and he just had his birthday a month ago. He’s pretty sore about not getting a BB this year. I told him one day that I didn’t get why he’s so sore about it and he told me that I wouldn’t understand because I  was only seven.

            

We were walking home from school. It was finally the end of the school year. I just stopped in front of this one pet store that I always went into when it’s a short day for me. I only went in when I’m not with anyone in my family because they always had to remind me that I couldn't get any pets because of the cost. But I knew that someday, I would get a pet.

            

And that someday was going to be here soon. One day I walked into the store and this guy who owned the store, I think his name was Tim, came up to me. He told me how he noticed that I always came in here and looked at the animals and fish all the time. He just offered me a job here. He also told me that if I worked here, I could get myself some of my own money then I could buy anything I could afford with the money. I could get at least try to get a goldfish. I was so excited but then I remembered that I was going to be with my siblings and friends during the whole summer and would never be able to leave them. I thanked him for the offer and said I would consider it then I went home.

            

I sighed and slid my hands off the glass window after staring at a golden retriever puppy chase its tail and followed my siblings. I held onto Marisa’s hand and just stared at the sidewalk until we finally got to the front porch of our house.

Well, it’s not exactly our house. We were more like roommates in this house with this other family. This guy named Kevin and this lady called Wendy have this thirteen year old boy named Billy; I secretly called him Wet Willy Billy because of how he tortured me and Dylan with these very Wet Willies.

I went into Dylan’s room and mine and dumped my backpack onto my bed. I sighed while falling next to my backpack and just stared at the ceiling. I could hear Marisa and Dylan already arguing over something as usual.

I wish that I could get a pet. I’m tired of hearing my friends talk about their own pets. I glumly thought to myself.

The Bubble

The creative side of me has been slumbering for a few months. Then yesterday, a friend's bubble blowing activity finally woke the little poet.


Childlike and innocent,
Bubbles are blown in the air.
Then one separates, lonesome.
It floats away, shimmers fair.

My hands reach up high,
I wave them about,
Trying to keep the
Thing still hovering.

Pretending to be an Airbender,
I walk and twirl with precision
So as to not lose track of the sphere.
My hands caress it by using wind.

I wish this could go on..
Forever and ever,
But that won't be so.... no..
It's not an endeavor...

A tiny, circular object,
It is oh so frail, I know.
People chatter all around,
But I don't care, this is my show.

A simple, little sphere
Made of common hand soap,
Blown through a plain, white straw
Is my wonderful joy.

I dance and spin,
My hands move calm,
Then a bit fast.
Too fast. Sphere pops.

The circular diamond bursts
I watch it in slow motion.
Minuscule pieces of suds.
I am filled with emotion.

Then I feel my phone ring.
Time for reality.

It

Just a poem I wrote during my freshman year of high school. I was extremely bored in English since I was already done with my class assignments and such.

There is a dog named It.
When It was a pup,
You can tell It to sit.
But It would stand up.

The dog's name is It.
He may be too hairy.
But he is full of wit.
Can even steal a berry.

Dancing Through The Night

This is a poem that I wrote about five years ago. It was the first high school dance I went to. Now I only go to the dances that my church has. They're a lot more fun.

Walking through double doors.

People moving with the tune.

Bodies close together, bumping.

I get the fever super soon.

Jumping into the crowd.

I whoop and lift my arms to the air.

Moving jerkily at first.

Finally getting the moves before people stare.

Dancing through the night.

Dancing, dancing, dancing...

Oh, what a sight!

A group of girls surround me.

Pulling me through the crowd.

Teaching me how to dance perfectly.

Making people around us get wowed.

My new friends exchange names with me.

They tell me theirs while I tell them mine.

Singing loudly to a couple songs.

As we dance, we move into a single line.

Dancing through the night.

Dancing, dancing, dancing...

Oh, what a sight!

The line with front to back, back to front.

We move our hips in one single motion.

Me doing this for the first time,

Feeling like we are surrounded by an ocean.

We break apart, then dance in a full circle.

Sweat gleaming on my face.

We stop for the night, the dance ends..

We leave all together in a single pace..

Dancing through the night.

Dancing, dancing, dancing..

Dancing, dancing, dancing...

To Dad

This is dedicated to my dad whom I've rarely seen over the past few years. I hope that as you read this you'll think about the great and wonderful things your own father has done for you.


Father's day is coming up.
I refuse to think of the bad,
Wishing to only remember the good.
This is my only gift to you,
A poem of all you've done.
That didn't create harm.

Dad, you've held me as a child.
Napped with me on the old green couch.
Dad, you've spent time with me,
Whether in the garage or playing outside.
Dad, you've let me change into overalls.
So I could work with you in the garage.

For my happiness, you've shopped.
You've taken me to Toys R Us.
For my happiness, you've gotten motorcycles.
You've shown me the joy of riding.
For my happiness, you've listened.
You knew when I would want to just talk away.

Whenever I was down,
Most of the time you knew.
When I was sad,
Most of the time, you understood.
When I was angry,
Most of the time, you were careful.

For my safety, you've talked to doctors.
You were there to point out possible cures.
For my safety, you brought water with us,
Everywhere we went, you told me "Drink some water."
For my safety, you've taught me how to defend myself.
Because of you, I no longer put my thumb within my fist.

Michelle was a good stepmother.
We went riding,
Whether it was on horses or motorcycles.
Manley Street was a nice little place.
Charlie and I played with the neighborhood kids.
The tire swing was one of the best things.

When Prom came around,
You've avoided a tradition.
You didn't lecture my date,
Which I'll always be grateful of.
The poor guy was nervous as is,
You knew it would just embarrass us.

Graduation came and went,
You were there for me,
Out of the sea of blue,
You were one of the first I saw.
You were proud of me.
Proud I've worked so hard.

When I close my eyes on the eve of Father's Day,
I hope to reawaken to a fresh day.
I'll dedicate the day to you,
Despite the fact most people won't.
For you are my father. And I am your daughter.
And that will never change.